yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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