Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You need Xanax blowdarts
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
