if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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