the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Let's paint friendship bongs
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
this is an emotional support booty call
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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