I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
