No stitches, just platelets and will power
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
