Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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