Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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