I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
