My boss' voice literally gives me gas
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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