I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
