We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
