we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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