At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
