what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
