I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
