I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
