But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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