a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
