Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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