He disabled his match.com account in front of me
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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