what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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