I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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