She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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