are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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