I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
