I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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