On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I want to be your penis for a week.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
