just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
