Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just had sex on a roof
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize