nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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