Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
