So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I have fence marks all over my body
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
