please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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