Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I can tuck mytits in my pants
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
