Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
