In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
