their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
