ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
