My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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