So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
