I think my vagina is haunted
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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