Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
