Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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