This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
