Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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