There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize