Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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