I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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