I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
