you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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