I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
