i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
