You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
