No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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