saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Randomize
