Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I stole a fireplace last night.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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