she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
