I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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