Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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