Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
