just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
