dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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